We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
