Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize