He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
