Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
