Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
