i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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