allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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