I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
