wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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