I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
