He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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