Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
