ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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