she looked like the bat from fern gully.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize