Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Every concussion has its silver lining
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
