redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize