when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize