once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
