What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
