we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
