just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
