it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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