About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I am naked and annoyed.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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