Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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