I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Be still, my beating vagina.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Randomize
