My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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