Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
