Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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