so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He better not be in your backpack
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
