I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
