So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize