my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
