FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
