I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
