So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
