Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We don't watch enough power rangers
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize