Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
