Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
