I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
