I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
