Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
