hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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