we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
When did angry sex become our thing?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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