im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
