I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
