I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
