please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
