You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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