He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
