If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
