Screwed.edu
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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