what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
