I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
im on a boat
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