dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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