I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
