Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
