I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
