You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
