am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
